Mom's story

I'm am sure you are wondering, what the button above means.  Well, if you visit B's Blog, you will be able to find out all about it.  Her assignment for this week is to share a post about our Mother.  I thought this will be a good topic to write on.  I have written posts about my grandmother, Aunt Mary, my kids, my husband, but I have not written yet about Mom.

So here I go with my short story on Mami  Lupe.

Mom married very young.  She was 19 when she married my father.  Little did she know that her marriage will not last for long.   My Father became an alcoholic soon after they married.  He was not able to keep a steady job because he was always getting drunk and wasting his salary on beer.

Mom was not a happy person.  At first my grandmother told her, that she had to try to make her marriage work.  But when she saw, how unhappy Mom was, she gave her the ok to separate from my father. 

I was four years old and my younger sister was just one year old.  Mom had to work.  My father was never there for us after that.  To be honest, I think Mom did the best thing by separating from my father.  My father, did not change a bit.  He continued with his same irresponsible ways.  Up until know, he continues to drink and he never remarried. 

Even though we did not have a father around we were happy girls.  My Mom took us to different places in Mexico.  She was blessed with family, that will help her whenever she could not make ends meet. 

Every Easter Sunday, Christmas Day and for our Birthdays we had a complete new outfit.  She will make my sister and I, our birthday party together.  We had a nice cake and a pinata.   I hardly ever missed having a father.  

My mother was and still is a young beautiful woman.  It was logical that she will be interested in dating again.  Yet, she worried that she will find the person, that will love her and accept her with her two daughters.  It so much different for single woman in Mexico.  There are people who judge them wrongly, just because they are single. 

I am  sure, it was hard for Mom to find that special person, with whom to restart a family. A man who will be a father to her daughters.  She finally met a young man.  She looked so happy.  I am going to be honest with you, I have never being ashamed of my mother's actions.  She was a mature woman, she knew well what she was doing, and she was in love.

Mom became pregnant again.  Yes, out of wedlock.  She was happy, the guy seemed to be a nice guy. No problem.  However, the in laws had to mess everything up.  They thought this relationship will not work out.  And they got this guy doubting.  They had to ruin a happy relationship.  Don't you just hate that.

Well, I was too young to comprehend what was happening around me, but now that I look back and analyze the situation.  This guy was not as in love with Mom, or else he will had cared less what his parents thought and married Mom and assumed his responsibility.

Heartbreak number two for Mom.  But in spite of the heartbreak, she did not gave up.  She decided to have her baby on her own and continue with her life with her now three daughters.

This is the time we moved to California and started our new life here.  Fatherless, but that was never a problem for us at least not for me.  Somehow we always had the resources to be able to pay rent, and buy groceries.  Mom had lots of family living near by.  I remember that she will sell Shaklee products in order to have a little extra income. 

 Mom always  dressed nice.  She  dedicated herself to her daughters and to finding ways to provide for her family.  She learned to do crafts at home.  Crocheting, knitting, anything that she could then sell, and make a little extra income.  

Every year for our birthdays, Easter, and Christmas, were very special for us.  Because we had  gifts, and a new outfit to wear.    Mom provided everything for us.  Most importantly she gave us love and a spiritual foundation, allowing us to attend the evangelical church. 

God had a special reward for her good work.  Years later, she met another man.  A much older man.  11 years older.  He was also separated from his previous wife.  Living alone.  Since the first time they met, Mom made it clear to him.  "My first priority are my daughters.  I always want to be a good example for them.  I am not looking for romances.  I am looking for someone who will be a good father to my daughters and treat me well." 

Bingo! She found the right one!  And they went and got married, and have been living happily ever since.  Not exactly like a fairy tale, but after 25 years, they are still together.  My Dad is the best dad ever.     I am thankful to God for fixing the broken road and leading this man to my mother's life. 

Sometimes, the first time  does not work out, or the second time, but the third time around can be much better.  All the time, Mom was  trying to be a good example for her daughters.  In spite of her heartbreaks, she never went on her own to parties, or got drunk.  Everywhere she went, she took her daughters with her.  And when my younger siblings came along, she took all five of us with her.  Rarely did she leave us with babysitters.  If she did, it was either  my grandmother or Aunt Mary.

So there, I have told you a very personal story for our family.  A story that I retell, with deep respect for everyone involved.  We all wish a fairy tale story for our life, but not always do we get one.  We all make mistakes at one point or another.  I have learned a lot from my mother.  She is a strong woman.  A woman that took the courage to give her daughters a better life.  Thanks Mom, I am proud of you.

Note: edited on 9/1/10