Marriage Vows

Over at Holy Experience, Ann Voskamp has asked us to share, over the next few weeks, any aspect of marriage/love that we will like to share with her and other bloggers during our Walk with Him Wednesday posts.

Last week, I shared a little on my parents marriage and my in-laws marriage. I believe it is important to take their marriage into account, to see how this will influnce, in any way our marriage relationship with our spouse.

Knowing the difficult relationship my mother had with my biological father, I was a little scared to have the same story get repeated. I prayed many times for God to send the right person to my life.


The day that I met my husband, he was drunk. He asked me to dance. We were at a Quincenera, 15th birthday celebration. Definately not the person I will like to date. So it was not love at first sight.


Actually it took many months for me to finally say, this is the person I want to marry. I dated my husband about two years, before we got married. During that time he worked at a roofing company during the day, in the evenings and weekends he will work with his brothers remodeling a duplex that they had purchased together.

This duplex ended up being our first home. My husband is a very hard working person. He had being saving up for our wedding to make it the best it could be. This is what attracted me to him, his determination to provide a home for our future together. And his responsibility to save up for our future plans.




Going back to our marriage vows, I can say that my husband has fulfilled his promise to make sure that nothing lacks in our home financially.

At the beginning of our married life together, I was also working and going to school part time. Like many couples we had our plans for the future, mutual plans and individual plans.

I wanted to continue school and wait a few years before starting a family. At first, I thought he had agreed on that, but a few months after the wedding he insisted on starting a family. Wait a minute! What happened to what I want?

Number one problem in most cases of divorce is selfishness, according to many marriage counselors. I believe my husband and I, were facing our first marriage difficulty and it had to do with selfishness. He wanted children, I wanted to wait.





But what ever happened to our marriage vows?

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Was I going to let my selfish desires be the cause of yet another broken marriage. Husband wanted kids. He was already reaching his thirties, I was twenty-four. Why should we wait longer?
Did not God created marriage for that purpose? To procreate life. I finally agreed to start a family. But in reality I was not ready. I was not putting God in the center of my home. I was thinking selfishly. And I believe husband was being selfish too. I got pregnant in July of 1997.

What a joy for my husband! I was happy too, but still not feeling it was the time yet. A month later, a huge dissapointment. I had miscarried my first child. Why? I do not know. Perhaps, God was trying to teach my husband and I something. We had to face a situation together and we had to be there for each other, in this time of grief.

Less than six months into our marriage and we already had our first conflict and our first loss of a child. And this were the first of many more situations that through the years have affected our marriage. Like I said before, God has made it possible for us to stay together, after all this years, and difficulties. He has strenghten us through the trials, that we have faced together.


We have been there for each other, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.