Here I Am

Today we celebrate the annunciation to Mary that she will conceived a son and his name will be Emmanuel, God with us.

I have a little devotional book of the daily readings and the opening prayer says,  " Here I am, to do your will, O God."  - Hebrews 10:7

I was writing this in my journal when my son asked me to make some breakfast for him. 

I hate when I  my quiet time gets inturrupted.   Its my fault for not getting up earlier than my children and spend my quiet time with God, then be ready for my children's request as soon as they are up.

I heard a little voice in me that said, " What you do to your child, you do to me."  I think it was God telling me to get up and attend to my child's request.

Later this morning, as I was browsing through emails, I read in a post this verse.

"whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea” (Mark 9:42).

Again reminding me of my actions from  yesterday.  I got mad at this same child that was requesting my attention this morning.  I had asked him to do his homework first, then he could use the laptop.  He did not listen.  He was playing on the computer and watching TV at the same time. 

I could not control my anger emotions, and I screamed to him to do his homework first. " I can't find it.", he responded.  My mood kept escalating and I blew up.

Yes, its easy for a parent to loose control of their emotions and do things we later regret.  It made me think of those parents that do harmful things to their children.  I am not justifying my actions or their actions.  It is wrong to hurt a child, there should not be a reason why we should hurt any child. 

Anger management has been something that I had to deal with a lot in the past.  During my depression years, I suffered a lot of this blow-up scenarios.   I thank God and the help of relatives for helping me get control of this emotional roller coaster I was in.

I do need to spend more time in my quiet time and in prayer.  God is the source that helps me to control my negative emotions.  Without him in my life, I just do not know where I will be.

My prayers go out to those parents that do not know God.  That are not thinking of the harm they are causing their children with their actions and harmful words.

"Lord Jesus, forgive me for my negative behavior yesterday,  please heal my children from the negative effect I have caused them in the past and recently.  I pray they forgive me and that in the future this will not be something that they have to deal with in their own life as adults. In Jesus name I ask this, Amen."

Thanks to Jennifer for sharing her post There's no such thing as perfect people, at Getting Down with Jesus, it has been a blessing to me today.