How I hate that my children think I am mean mommy. But sometimes, I have to be strong, and set rules and if broken, commit to the consequences.
I have problems with my seven year old boy. He does not want to do his homework. Homework is boring. He gets a homework package every Friday. The entire package is due on Thursday of the following week. Some weeks we manage to do the homework in 2-3 days. But most of the time we are rushing to do it all in less than an hour before he leaves to school on Thursday morning.
I want to teach my kids good skills and procrastination is not a good thing! I know what it is to be rushing last minute trying to complete something that is due. I guess my problem is, that I am not a strong disciplinarian. I have not set rules and consequences properly. I have to also set limits. TV and computer time should be limited. And chores need to be asigned.
If they want things like toys, eating out at their favorite restaurant, going to special events like the Justin Bieber concert, they need to earn points to get their rewards.
I need to be consistent with the plan. And follow up with the consequences if they do not do what is expected of them. I am even thinking of bringing back the time out consequence.
If any of you have some ideas that have worked with your children, please let me know.
Earning points can be very effective with kids! I found that tracking points was too difficult for *me*. I keep things simple and just required that responsibilities be taken care of before entertainment/treats/special events. With the homework example you gave, that would look like this: I would help figure out how much needed to be done per day to finish by Wednesday afternoon/evening. Then, no TV, video games, outside, whatever until that part was completed. I am quick to allow whatever they "earned" as soon as they complete their responsibilities so they learned to trust that it really works this way.
ReplyDeleteFor bigger things, I tried to assess how much I wanted to attach things to it. I knew that, bottom line, I was not going to "ground" them from going to see the Jonas Brothers, for example, so I never made that an issue. Of course, if there severe behavior, nothing is off of the table, but for the everyday discipline, I would leave that out. It was an investment and takes planning, so I knew I wouldn't follow through on threats to take it away. If I know I won't do it, I don't threaten it. That way my credibility and the trust remains intact.
One of my many "mottos" is "If my kids think I'm a 'mean mom' I'm probably doing something right!"
I think that is what I am wrong in. Not following through with the consequences. I need to regain my credibility and trust from my children. Thanks for the advice.
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