Holy Matrimony

There is a prayer on my bedroom wall. It is in Spanish. This prayer was given to my husband and me at a marriage encounter retreat we attended a few years ago.

Here is my translation:

Prayer for the Spouses

Our Lord Jesus, You have united us by the Sacrament of Matrimony.

We give you thanks for all the joys that are born of our reciprocal comunion,

thank you for our children and the peace in our home.

We ask you to keep alive every day our love,

do not permit it to be lost due to monotony

or to much activity in our life.

Do not permit lack of communication among us

or that we live together as strangers.

My husband and I, we have been married for now 13 years and counting. It is quite a long time, and we have had our ups and downs like a every married couple. What keeps us going ? God. He is the one that united our lifes into one. He is the one that strenghtens us in our weak moments. I can guaranteed you that if God was not the center of our family, we will not be a family.

My parents divorced when I was four years old. The cause of the broken marriage was my father's alcohol addiction, and lack of responsibility as a spouse. I know the pain of living my childhood fatherless. But I thank God that he blessed my mother with another spouse that was more than we could had wanted. God blesses broken roads. He mends our mistakes and brings blessings out our mistakes.

I could have decided not to ever marry because of what my mother experienced, but I decided to trust God. He will bring to my life the right person and he will help us to not make the same mistakes of our parents.

My husband' parents were a normal marriage. He is the youngest of nine children. His father immigrated to the United States every harvest season to provide for his family. My husband's mother will stay in Mexico taking care of her children. The older kids will help with the house chores and take care of the younger ones. As the years went by, the older ones got married and eventually began immigrating to the States too.

Husband does not talk much about his parents relationship. All I know is that their marriage lasted until death separated them. My mother-in-law died peacefully on her way to a doctor's appointment many years before I met my husband.

My husband was already here in the United States. All of his other sibblings were here too. The only one that was still with their parents was one sister already married. My husband took very hard the death of his mother.

I remember that when we were recently married he will look very sad on his mother's death anniversary. She died in the month of May.

I think it is very important to know your spouse well, and know his/her background. Sometimes it helps us to see why they are a certain way. My husband was amazed that my mother was able to be a provider for us and brought us up well, even without the help of a husband. Husband has recognized too, that my mother was blessed with a husband like my step-father.

I have noticed, that the fact my father-in-law was away for many months from his family, did not allowed him to be there for his children when they needed him. I see it in the way my husband treat our children. He wants to give them all he yearned for, in his growing up years.

I do this too. I want my children to always have their father in their life. That is why I make a strong effort to make this marriage last forever. Not just for my children, but for us too. "Love" is the most important ingredient in a family. Faith and Hope are too. God is love. And He should be the center of every family. Our first priority. Then comes our spouse, then our children, then everyone else.

I always remind my husband this, that without God in our life we will not be here, together. God had a reason in uniting our paths. We come from different pathways, but we are now walking together, on the one that God has blessed. "For God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to You." ( A verse from a song by Selah.)