Recovering

I am slowly getting back to normal. On Thursday, I spent all day at the Hospital's clinic. I was told I had appointment at 10 am. Apparently the appointment was not in the system, and I had to wait to be seen. I did not leave the hospital until 5 pm. Was told to return next day for more tests and to make final decision.

Like I told you before, I had a positive pregnancy test. The problem was that the ultrasound done did not find a pregnacy in the right place and the doctors suspect in might be in the tubes. They call this an ectopic pregnancy. I was told there are to ways to treat this. One is surgery to remove the affected tube. The second one is an injection similar to chemoterapy. This injection dissolves the pregnancy and has many other complications. When I read them and all the information. I felt sick.

I spoke with my husband and explained everything to him. I spoke to the priest of our parish for counsel. I am thankful for all the support that I am getting from family and good friends. They all want what is best for me. As a Christian faced with this challenge, it was a very hard for me to decide. But I made my decision. To leave things in the hands of God. I am not going to do anything that harms me or harms my baby. If indeed I am still pregnant, I pray that God will make everything possible for this baby to continue growing in its right place. If the baby is not in the correct place, I pray to God that he will do everything for the baby to get to its right place or let the doctors be able to see its there for the necessary procedure to be done in time before the baby continues to grow and harm me.

The blood test indicate that I might had a miscarriage. But the doctors can not confirm it yet. Yesterday that I saw doctor, I told her that I am feeling much better. I do not want to do injection. I want to wait until they confirm that I had a natural miscarriage. Or to see if the ultrasound will be able to detect a normal pregnancy. She agreed. I told her that I need some rest. This past week has been a hard week for me. She said to go home and rest this weekend and on Monday return to have more test done.

I took bus to my house, I walked for a couple of block to connect to another bus route that will take me closer to my home. I got home fine. I felt fine. But in the evening, I began to feel lonely. My body is reacting to all this ups and downs, and I think I might of had some sort of depression moment. I did not wanted to be alone. I call my neighbors to come and talk to me until my husband got home. My children left to my mother's home for the weekend. They are celebrating my nephew's second birthday.

I told Mom, I wanted to stay home in case I felt worse and I could go to hospital were they already have my record of the past events. They all wanted to see me this weekend. But they understood. My neighbors are very nice ladies. They talked to me and cheered me up. They listened to me and I was able to let go of my fear. I also spoke with the priest on the phone and prayed.

I know that my God is with me and he will not let anything bad happen to me. I thought of those women that go through this and do not have this kind of support. I prayed for them. Lord, send this women someone that cares for them. Make them feel loved and protected.

This morning I feel much better. I ask you to continue praying for me. Depression hits anyone no matter the race, or how much faith they have. Pray for all those women out there who do not have spiritual support. May God bless you always. Amen